Children of the Moon
by MissRisa
Summary: Ok this is another Edward left Bella story. Its been done before but not by me. This is my second story to fanfic. Bella is sad and wants to move on, she discovers a talent not even she knew she had. singing. bad summary great story read & give it a shot
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: **Ok this is my second story for Fan Fiction now. My other story is called Facing My Fears and is also a Twilight story. I thought about writing this story when I was listening to the radio one day and that is where the inspiration for this chapter came. I have the next chapter ready for this story and I am prepared to update. So review and tell me what you think.

**

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**Disclaimer:**

Me: I own nothing

Stephenie Meyer: I own twilight

Me: Yea yea rub it in why don't ya

SM: What? It's not my fault I created the sexy sparkling vampires first.

SM owns it all I only own this laptop I'm typing on.

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**Prologue**

**BELLA's POV:**

Ed- Edwar- …. _He _left me. He left me here alone, and broken hearted.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to them. Not to my best friend or the family I grew to love like my own. I cry myself to sleep every night, and wake up screaming. All because of the dreams that still haunt me to this day, the day when he left.

It's been over 2 years now. Things have changed, none of it for the better.

Today is the anniversary of the day _he_ left. It's painful still to even think about their names. I just turned 20 years old. Notice I didn't say celebrated my 20th birthday. I refused to throw a party. I wanted the one they threw me to be the last one I had. It was a small get together, just Charlie, some of the pack, and me along with a cake and a few presents nothing to get excited about.

Oh I forgot to tell you about the pack, and my new life.

See not too long ago I wandered out into the meadow. Well what used to be _our_ meadow. I went in search of finding that one place where I could remember him. Maybe even to find him. Well I did find a vampire that day, just not the one I wanted to find.

I found Laurent there in the meadow, I was almost glad to see him, until I figured out I had interrupted him hunting. I was scared at first but then a blissful feeling enveloped me. I wasn't going to feel the pain of losing _him_, anymore.

Well as you see I'm not dead.

Well not in the traditional sense of the word. Laurent got to close and when he bit me, I didn't feel it.

See Jacob and his friends, are werewolves. Together they are the La Push pack as I like to call them. They stopped Laurent from drinking me. They weren't able to do anything about the venom already in me though. So they had to sit there, with me out in the woods for 3 days while I was in horrible pain. I turned into a vampire if you haven't already figured it out.

It's a good thing I have great control since i still live with Charlie. Human blood doesn't appeal to me, one of the few traits I brought over from being human.

Sadly I also brought over my clumsiness, well part of it at least. Meaning I still trip from time to time but not nearly as much as I used to. That and I brought over my shield.

The shield that kept my mind silent from prying vampires. Except now I am able to manifest both a physical and mental shield. I could choose to block anyone's mind from others and about everyone's ability and no one would see it, it would be invisible to all but me. Or I could choose to put up a physical which does the same as a mental shield but no one can get close to you, I can also make it either visible or invisible to others.

There are many things I can do with my shield almost to many to list, there are still things I haven't figured out I can do. Just know I am powerful and the pack loves that I am a "good" vampire and I am there to help them.

Back to the story though, see it's been awhile and things have changed. I've become a different person and I don't let people see how hurt I still am inside.

I was just driving around on my motorcycle through Seattle when I saw it. It was a little shop on a corner and I don't know why it made me stop and go in. I just know I didn't leave the shop empty handed; I practically bought out the store.

This is where it all starts.

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**Chapter 1: Listening to the Radio**

**Alice's POV:**

It's been 2 years 4 days 16 hours 39 minutes and 9 seconds since I last saw Bella and spoke to Edward.

I stopped talking to him directly when he decided he was going to leave. That and he forbade me to go and talk to Bella. I was pissed. I was forced to leave my best friend and I couldn't even say good bye.

How unfair is that?

Since then I have taken to cussing Edward out in my head as often as I can. He deserves it for leaving Bella. She deserved better than that after all we have put her through.

Edward just mopes around now. He hunts when Emmett and Carlisle threaten him. Other than that he barely leaves his room.

The whole family has fallen apart. Esme is sad most of the time, Jasper is in pain because everyone's sadness, Carlisle drowns himself in work when he isn't home, Emmett doesn't tease or make as many jokes as he used to and then there's Edward.

I sometimes feel sorry for him. He left his soul mate, his other half, his reason for being.

I had to escape the house for awhile. I grabbed my keys and ran into my car. My canary yellow 911 turbo, it was both fast and beautiful. I turned the radio on and was listening to the station driving as fast as I could down the back roads of Alaska.

We were living in one of our houses not too far from the Denali's. Far enough away where they couldn't visit all the time but close enough where we could get them in a time of emergency.

I was singing along with all the songs the station played. It was distracting me from the depression that has settled and moved in to our home. All of a sudden I had a vision. It was our family we seemed to be in some club and…. We looked happy.

That was it, only a small glimpse of what would come but enough to make me want it desperately.

That was until I heard a new song come on the radio. I wasn't familiar with the band or the song itself.

I was stunned into silence though by the lead singer. She was amazing and sung with such a beautiful voice that I was… well speechless.

"_That ladies and gentlemen was Children of the Moon a rising band from Seattle, Washington. We have the band here with me now. Marie tell us about your band here." _The radio host said.

"_Well we started out as a local band that preformed on the weekends for fun. Then it turned into something that we all liked doing that we couldn't stop. The guys and I just loved performing in front of people. We actually are in a contest here in Alaska in a few days. We will be performing live along with a few other bands at the Green Light Club in Juneau, Alaska Saturday night at 8." _The lead singer, Marie, says. Her voice sounding oddly familiar.

"_Ladies and Gentlemen what will shock you all the most is that this band is made up entirely of 19 and 20 year olds. All of them fresh out of high school and with so much talent. Jake here is the lead guitarist, so Jake tell us about how you guys got started."_

"_Well you see Bella, I mean Marie, here just showed up at my front door one day with a truck from some store hauling all these instruments. She said she wanted to start a band and rounded up Seth, Embry, and Quil to join too." _The guy Jake said.

I turned the radio off and struggled not to start bouncing in my seat with excitement. The singer I heard must have been Bella. I mean it sounded a lot like her. Could she be the reason we were all so happy in my vision? I was definitely going to be finding out.

I searched in my purse for my phone. Grabbing it out I flipped it open and typed a message quickly to my family. I knew what we were doing this weekend.

We were going to the Green Light Club to watch the bands play. If Bella is this singer 'Marie', then I would find out then.

I turned around and started to head back home. For the first time since we left I was excited again.

Just as long as I kept Edward from reading my thoughts for the next few days then my plan will work. I smiled to myself and thought of all the possibilities the future now held for me and my family.

I _am_ going to fix this and make everything all right.

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**(A/N: **soooo tell me what you guys think. I really want to know how you feel about this story. Let me know and review! I have started the next chapter already and once I get some review from people that want me to continue I will update.

Lots of love to my readers out there. Oh and if you haven't all ready, check out my other story Facing My Fears I promise you won't be disappointed

~ MissRisa


	2. Chapter 2: Battle of the Bands

**(A/N: **I couldn't wait any longer I had to write and update so here it is**)**

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**Disclaimer:**

I don't own the characters I just bend them to my will and make them do my bidding.

Oh and I don't own the songs either I just loved using them in the story …

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**Chapter 2: Battle of the Bands**

**BELLA's POV:**

I 'borrowed' Jakes car to go driving. I mean just because he doesn't know doesn't mean anything. Well I couldn't take my bike to the place I was going, my bike was to ostentatious, and I really didn't want anything unfortunate to happen to it.

You could say I wasn't going to a good part of the city. Don't take me wrong Alaska was a great place and Juneau was a beautiful city. Every city though had it's not so nice parts though.

I had been up here earlier in the week. I found the perfect guy to get what I need done. His name was Bill. I didn't bother to figure out his last name. It didn't even matter. As long as he got what I paid him for then that's all that matters.

See it was getting to a point that I needed to change me. I wasn't aging and I wasn't sure about letting Charlie in on the secret. I paid Bill to pretty much get me a whole new identity. Everything I would need for that and make it looks real.

Someone for the past two years has been depositing hefty amounts of cash into my bank account. I refused to touch any of it. I opened a new bank account and started over. I mean it's easy to make money when you never sleep or get tired. I was able to make more than double what a normal person does in half the time.

I had refused to touch the money I had been receiving from the anonymous donor every month until now. I figured the least they could do was pay for my new identity. I had one hundred thousand dollars in my bag next to me. What I didn't use to get my identity and pay to keep it quiet, I would use to buy new clothes and equipment for Saturday. I mean its late Thursday night now. I don't have that much time left before the show.

I pulled the car up to the designated corner that Bill chose. I stepped out of the car and keened up against the hood.

"Such a beautiful woman out alone at this time of night, now that's just asking for trouble." Bill said.

"Oh I'm not asking for it Bill." I sneered, "I welcome it." I smiled mischievously.

I heard his heartbeat pick up and his steps falter slightly. I almost laughed at how I affected humans now. I knew how he felt to be by someone inhumanely beautiful that it unsettled you.

"Do you have everything I asked for?" I questioned staring at him intently

"That and more," He said shifting nervously, "I examined each piece thoroughly and no one will be able to notice the difference.

Handing me a small bag filled with its contents. I pulled one out. It was a driver's license registered for Alaska. It said my name was Annabel Marie Mason. This way I would be called Marie and if anyone slipped up no one would question me being called Bella or Bells. I also looked different now. After the change my hair seemed to have highlights of bronze and copper making my hair look lighter and fuller.

I would look unrecognizable with the outfits I would wear now. No one would mistake me for shy and heartbroken little Bella. I peeked through the bag and saw passports, registrations of every kind, birth certificates, social security cards, and just about everything I would need for awhile.

I smiled by the amount I got and how perfect it all was. I reached in my bag and grabbed about fifty thousand dollars. I handed it to him with a smile.

"My dear, this is far more than what we agreed the price to be," Bill tried to say.

"Yes but you gave me more than what I asked for. Not to mention it is all perfect. The bonus is for your secrecy and keeping this transaction quiet." I said once again trying to give him the money.

"If you insist," Bill said taking the money and pocketing it quickly.

I smiled for real this time at the gentleman before me, I mean sure he did some illegal things but he really was a nice guy and I hoped nothing bad would happen to him.

I turned around and walked back to my 'borrowed' car. I drove to a few shops that were still open and bought a good amount of clothes.

Basically I channeled my inner Alice and bought everything I knew the old me would never buy. Meaning the car was filled with lots of short skirts, tight tops and jeans, and skin tight and low cut dresses.

I was as tired as a vampire could get after the amount of shopping I did. I decided to listen to some music before I headed back to the hotel the band was staying at while in Alaska. I turned it on and immediately a song started to pour from out of the speakers:

"_Meeeeeeee_

_I'm the one you chose_

_Out of all the people_

_You wanted me the most_

_And I'm so sorry that I've fallen_

_Help me up let's keep on running_

_Don't let me fall out of love_

_Running, running_

_As fast as we can (As fast as we can)_

_Do you think we'll make it? (Do you think we'll make it?)_

_We're running_

_Keep holding my hand_

_So we don't get separated_

_Beeeeeeee_

_Be the one I need_

_Be the one I trust most_

_Don't stop inspiring me_

_Sometimes it's hard to keep on running_

_We work so much to keep it going_

_Don't make me want to give up"_

I changed my mind about listening to the radio and turned it back off. Taking care as to not turn my frustrations on Jakes car. I groaned out loud but then cheered up when I realized how much closer to the hotel I was then what I thought. Once I got home I could go hunting to cheer me up. Afterwards I might even kick some wolf ass in poker.

****Saturday Afternoon*****

I banged on the door again. The boys were probably sleeping and we had to leave in a few hours for the show. They needed to get up and ready so we can make sure we have everything for tonight.

"Dammit you guys! If you don't get your asses out of bed and open this door right now you will all be sorry!" I growled through the door.

I muttered some more unkind words under my breath but I still didn't hear any movement from the other side. Damn they were heavy sleepers.

I went back into my hotel room and went out onto the balcony. Their hotel room was besides mine. I stepped on the railing of the balcony and simply jumped gracefully onto their balcony. I opened the sliding glass doors and stepped into the room.

As I suspected the boys were sprawled out on the beds snoring loudly. I snickered once and was tempted to take a picture. We were already too late though and they wouldn't have enough time for them all to shower.

I walked into the bathroom and filled up two of the large ice buckets with….well…ice water. I stood looking at the four boys sprawled out and I threw water on them.

I was laughing hysterically at their expressions of shock and sleepiness.

"I told you guys to get up," I said in between my laughter. "Now get ready we leave in an hour it's already 6pm and we need to be there by 7pm so we can get set up and ready."

I then went to the door and walked out and into my room. I could hear them muttering and laughing from my room. Now it was time to get ready.

I ended up curling my hair into a bunch of curls. I pulled part of it back so it was out of my face, the rest I left down and it hung to the middle of my back.

I put on a pair of dark tights, and I slipped on a tight strapless dress. It had a sweet heart neckline, went to about mid thigh, and had a low back. It hugged me in all of the right places and was perfect for tonight's show. I finished the outfit with a pair of three inch fire engine red pair of ankle boots. This just added to the effect of making my legs look longer.

I wore a simple woven bracelet that the pack gave to me when I graduated it had my initials woven in and an intricate pattern that I loved. I wore it for every performance. I called it my good luck charm.

I went outside and thankfully the boys were all ready. They were all wearing nice pairs of black pants and all had on different shirts. They all looked handsome in their own way and I knew the girls would be jealous tonight.

Jacob, Embry and Quil's jaws hit the floor when they saw me. Seth laughed at their blatant staring. He had gotten used to the more revealing outfits I wore now and he has come to view me as more of a sister.

"Pick up your jaws boys we have a show to do," I said snickering.

"Wow…Bells…you look…wow," Quil said.

"First off guys you need to start calling me Marie at least in public. We can't have another radio incident, and I got all the appropriate paperwork and my name is officially changed." I said calmly.

"Yea sorry about that Bell- I mean Marie. Listen we got all the stuff packed in the rabbit. Thanks for returning it in one piece." He said staring at me, I laughed in response and nodded my head. "There won't be enough room so one of us will have to ride with you on your bike there."

"Ok," I said looking at them. I looked down at my dress and then at my black sleek motorcycle. "Hop on Seth we have a show to do."

Seth laughed at the guys expressions of shock and jealousy. I mean I was in a dress and heels and I was getting ready to get on a fast motorcycle. My dress was bound to rise up some; I wasn't letting them see more than they need to.

"Race ya there boys," I said with a wink before hopping on the front of my bike with Seth behind me. We were off and out of parking lot before the guys had a chance to react.

We pulled up to the front of the club right on time. I knew I was getting stair both for my looks and my motorcycle.

I hopped off my bike and gently tousled my windblown hair. With my smoky make up and my outfit I knew the guys would be staring tonight. I sighed as I heard the heartbeats pick up and seeing me and my band.

I walked up to the bouncer and smiled sweetly at him. His name was Joe and he was one of the nicest club bouncers I have met. Well at least to me he was always nice.

"Hey Joe," I said winking at him as I passed.

"Good luck tonight let me know if you have any trouble," He replied sincerely.

"Sure thing buddy," I said over my shoulder already walking to the back stage area to sit and wait with the other bands.

The guys went to the bar to go have a few drinks before we went onstage. Jake and I were sitting in one of the dressing rooms just talking.

"Bells, you know you need to move on," he whispered.

"I have Jake what are you talking about," I replied

"I know you, listen Bells you know how I feel about you I have always felt this way. Even though I know you're not my imprint. You deserve better than him. Trust me." He said grabbing my arm when I went to walk away.

"Not now Jake, please," I said begging him with my eyes to drop it.

"Fine," He muttered dropping my arm.

"Come on were on in five why don't you go find the guys and I'll figure out our playlist." I said walking out the door.

Those five minutes went by in no time. Before I realized it we were being introduced and pushed out on stage. I grabbed my sleek black guitar and headed to the microphone stand down stage center.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to introduce to you our last contestant in this battle of the bands, here from Washington, the Children of the Moon!" the DJ announced. There were cheers and whistles from everyone in the club.

The whistles got louder when they saw me walking on the stage.

"How are you all doing tonight?" I said into the microphone. Cheers once again engulfed me and I smiled at them.

"Bulletproof." I whispered to the guys quietly. They nodded their heads and began to play. I took a deep breath and started to play my guitar. Feeling the strings move and play underneath my fingers was always a calming thing for me. It relaxed me and I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and began to sing.

"_Been there, done that, messed around  
I'm having fun don't put me down,  
I'll never let you _

_sweep me off my feet,_

_I won't let you in again, _

_the messages I've tried to send,  
my informations just not going in,_

_burnin' bridges shore to shore,_

_I'll break away from something more,  
I'm not turned off to love _

_until it's cheap,_

_been there, done that, messed around,  
I'm having fun don't put me down,  
I'll never let you _

_sweep me off my feet,  
_

I was feeding off of the energy from the crowd now. They were cheering and singing along with parts they know from the radio. It was exhilarating and spurred me to keep going. I took a deep breath and I smelled…SHIT!

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby I'll be bulletproof_

I won't let you turn around,  
and tell me now I'm much too proud,  
to walk away from something

_when it's dead,_

_do do do your dirty words _

_come out to play when you are hurt?,  
there's certain things _

_that should be left unsaid,_

_tick tick tick on the watch _

_and life's too short for me to stop,  
Oh baby, your time is running out,  
_

_I won't let you turn around,  
and tell me now I'm much too proud,  
All you do _

_is fill me up with doubt, _

This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby I'll be bulletproof

It was time for Jakes guitar solo and I stood there dancing on the stage. I went to the side and placed my guitar down, returning to my spot just in time to finish the song.

__

This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
This time baby, this time baby

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof,_

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof,_

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof,_

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof,_

_This time baby, this time._

I took a deep breath to confirm it. Yes it was definitely vampires in the club it smelled like it was at least 5. Damn it had to be them. After all this time they choose to show up now. I will have to confirm it when singing my next song.

"Impossible," I whispered to the guys so they knew what song was next. They nodded and once again started off. I wouldn't be playing guitar in this one I would just be doing vocals. I sighed quietly to myself and began softly but I knew I was heard and how it would affect my audience.

"_I remember years ago  
someone told me I should take  
caution when it comes to love  
I did, I did_

_and you were strong and I was not  
my illusion, my mistake  
I was careless, I forgot_

_I did_

_and now when all is done  
there is nothing to say  
you have gone and so effortlessly  
you have won  
you can go ahead tell them_

tell them all I know now  
shout it from the roof top  
write it on the skyline  
all we had is gone now

_tell them I was happy  
and my heart is broken  
all my scars are open  
tell them what I hoped would be  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible_

falling out of love is hard  
falling for betrayal is worst  
broken trust and broken hearts  
I know, I know

_thinking all you need is there  
building faith on love and words  
empty promises will wear  
I know (I know)_

_and know when all is gone  
there is nothing to say  
and if you're done with embarrassing me  
on your own you can go ahead tell them_

tell them all I know now  
shout it from the roof top  
write it on the skyline  
all we had is gone now"

I looked hard in the audience and saw a group of 5 people off to the side by the bar. No one was around them giving them their own private little bubble. I looked in their direction and continued to sing.

_"tell them I was happy  
and my heart is broken  
all my scars are open  
tell them what I hoped would be  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible _

ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago  
someone told me I should take  
caution when it comes to love  
I did

tell them all I know now  
shout it from the roof top  
write it on the skyline  
all we had is gone now

_tell them I was happy (I was happy)  
and my heart is broken  
all my scars are open  
tell them what I hoped would be  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible  
impossible, impossible"_

I knew by now that it was indeed them. I saw it when I was singing and they gasped when they paid more attention to the song itself. I think I even saw someone smack someone else. Haha either it was Emmett and a comment about my dress, or them smacking Edward.

__

"I remember years ago  
someone told me I should take  
caution when it comes to love  
I did"

It took all I had not to run off that stage right then. They were here after all this time and I was afraid and angry.

"They're here, "I whispered to the boys knowing they would here and know what I meant.

They growled and started to shake.

"Guys it's ok let's just sing this last song and then we can leave. Come on guys lets finish up with According to You," I said trying to calm them down.

This time they didn't reply they just started to play. I turned back to the microphone and removed it from the stand so I could move around more in the stage. I looked straight towards the Cullens and began to sing the song.

_"According to you _

_I'm stupid  
I'm useless  
I can't do anything right_

According to you  
I'm difficult  
Hard to please  
Forever changing my mind"

I motioned to my dress on this next line. Also running my fingers through my hair and I started to dance around the front of the stage. The whole time keeping beat and singing the song.

_"I'm a mess in a dress  
Can't show up on time  
Even if it would save my life  
According to you  
According to you _

_According to him  
I'm funny, irresistible  
Everything he ever wanted  
_

But according to him  
I'm beautiful, incredible  
He can't get me out of his head

_Everything is opposite  
I don't feel like stopping it  
So baby tell me what I got to lose  
He's into me for everything I'm not  
According to you _

According to you  
I'm boring  
I'm moody  
You can't take me any place

According to you  
I suck at telling jokes

_cause I always give it away  
_

_I'm the girl with the worst _

_attention span  
You're the boy who puts up with it  
According to you  
According to you"_

I was walking on the front of the stage. People in the crowd were reaching up trying to touch me and I effectively avoided most of their hands.

_"But according to him  
I'm beautiful, incredible  
He can't get me out of his head _

According to him  
I'm funny, irresistible  
Everything he ever wanted

_Everything is opposite  
I don't feel like stopping it  
So baby tell me what I got to lose  
He's into me for everything I'm not  
According to you_

I need to feel appreciated  
like I'm not hated  
Oh, no

_Why can't you see me through his eyes?  
It's too bad you're making me dizz-ay"  
_

Jake had an awesome guitar solo here and he was hitting all the notes perfectly. I moved away from my spot by the crowd and dance next to him. My hair was flying everywhere with each toss of my head and I think I heard several guys groan at the sight.

_"According to me  
you're stupid  
you're useless  
you can't do anything right _

But according to him  
I'm beautiful, incredible  
He can't get me out of his head

According to him  
I'm funny, irresistible  
Everything he ever wanted

_Everything is opposite  
I don't feel like stopping it  
Baby tell me what I got to lose  
He's into me for everything I'm not  
According to you [you, you]  
According to you [you, you] "_

I went back to my spot at the front of the stage and I went back to looking at the Cullens. They had moved up and I was able to see them better. I made sure to make the words I was singing stronger and I pointed my finger straight out into the audience and pointed at Edward himself.

_"According to you  
I'm stupid  
I'm useless  
I can't do anything right"_

I almost dropped the microphone after saying those last lines. I was falling apart and even the rush of the audience wasn't helping.

Jake came up next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me off stage. I was well aware that it would look like to them that Jake and I were together.

It was part of the reason why I chose this song. Let them think what they want; I got my main point across to them. Showing how I felt about everything and how I felt about Edward now.

I was barely off stage before I broke down in tears. One of those traits I was talking about carrying over from when I was human. I was never happier then right now about keeping that ability. I ran into the dressing room at vampire speed, not caring if anyone at that moment saw.

I flung myself into one of the chairs in the corner and cried. Cried for him, cried for me, and cried for everything else I lost. I thought I was almost over him. It's been months since I last cried. I think it was just after I bought all the band stuff.

I heard a knock at the door and froze.

"Bella, it's me."

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**(A/N: **This is the part where I run away from all of you guys screaming at me in frustration. C'mon I mean this chapter without the authors note was almost 4,000 words! What more could you want? I know I know it's a cliff hanger but what if I tell you guys a secret? Reviews make me update faster and hey didn't I update twice in one day? I deserve a reward for that I think. Ok I like all rewards made out in reviews, haha. Ok so REVIEW and tell me what you think. Don't insult my work, but constructive criticism is welcomed.

~MissRisa

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**Song on Radio:**

Running by No Doubt

**Songs They performed In order:**

Bulletproof by La Roux

Impossible by Shontelle

According to You by Orianthi


	3. Chapter 3: After Party

**(A/N: **don't hate me…I know it's been too long for an update but since Eclipse is out I was inspired to write if you saw the movie let me know what you think and as always REVIEW! See you at the bottom. and be happy this chapter is 6,314 words.

~MissRisa

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**DISCLAIMER:**

Jasper: Hey MissRisa!

Me: Hey… Oh my gosh! JASPER! *run up and give him a hug*

Jasper: You seem happy.

Me: DUH! I mean your Jasper who wouldn't be happy you're here?

Alice: MISSRISA!

Me: uh oh…

Alice: What did I tell you about staying away from my husband!

Me: …

Alice: Exactly, stay away from Jasper you don't own him.

Me: … I know… Dang SM for not selling me the ownership of her amazing books… (But we all love SM anyways!)

***** borrowed my disclaimer from chapter 10 of my other story Facing My Fears. I know I know I always have a funny disclaimer or well I try to ****I just wanted to focus more on the writing itself this chapter and didn't feel like coming up with an original one*****

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**Chapter 3:** After party

_*Previously in Children of the Moon*_

_I was barely off stage before I broke down in tears. One of those traits I was talking about carrying over from when I was human. I was never happier then right now about keeping that ability. I ran into the dressing room at vampire speed, not caring if anyone at that moment saw._

_I flung myself into one of the chairs in the corner and cried. Cried for him, cried for me, and cried for everything else I lost. I thought I was almost over him. It's been months since I last cried. I think it was just after I bought all the band stuff. _

_I heard a knock at the door and froze. _

_"Bella, it's me."_

Bella's POV:

"Come in," I whispered but even to me it sounded more like a question.

The door opened slowly opening to reveal the person who interrupted me breaking down. I was instantly hit with the smell of werewolf. I had gradually become desensitized to their smell. I know to other vampires they smelled horrible. To me they just had a strong woodsy and animal smell. Just in a totally unappealing way.

"Bells are you okay? Do you need to leave? They are getting ready to announce the winner."

Oh Seth, he really was a great kid. He is always there for me and so kind. Not to mention he was a great bass player. I mean on occasion him and Embry, who played keyboards and a little of everything, would switch, but Seth was amazing. With Quil on drums and Jake on guitar and vocals when I needed it, I had one amazing band.

My mind must have wandered for a bit too long because Seth politely cleared his throat to regain my attention. I smiled up at him and wiped my face making sure not to rub off my makeup.

"I'm fine come on Seth we should go can't keep them waiting."

We left the dressing room after I fixed my dress and made sure I looked presentable. We walked back onstage to wait with the announcer and the few other bands that we were competing against to win.

The announcer made a few lame jokes and after a few … well um not so nice comments from some people in the crowds went ahead to announce the winner.

"-and the winners of this year's annual Battle of the Bands contest is…" The announcer said.

The crowd erupted in cheers and even with my vampire hearing I didn't hear what he said. My band had surrounded me and was all cheering and laughing.

"We won?" I asked.

"We won!" the normally quiet Embry hollered.

Next thing I knew they were all pushing me up to go get the award, a $25,000 dollar check and a trophy of a microphone. I approached the real microphone to say something to everyone.

"Thank you. Thank you all for allowing my band and I to have a chance at this. We love performing and we're so happy that you guys like our music." The crowd cheered loudly at my speech and I calmly waited for them to quiet down some so I could continue. "I would also like to say there is an after party so to speak at my house. You guys should all know that big house over at the edge of town, well that's where were staying for a few days and we would love it if you guys all came out and celebrated with us." I smiled brightly as the crowd reached a shocking level of noise. I was glad that there weren't too many people or our house was going to be flooded with people.

Behind me Jake seemed to have sobered up quickly. "Bella what are you doing?" he growled low enough that only we could hear.

"Didn't I mention that I bought that house? Besides we won why not have a little fun? I already have people working on setting the house up and getting enough food and drinks for everyone." I said calmly back to him.

"Yea, who?" Seth questioned.

"Oh I called the rest of the pack and had them flown up here a couple days ago; I wanted it to be a surprise. They've been staying at the house getting everything set up and put away. That's why I have been out shopping so much. I have been out to buy what we need so we can all live there and still have enough room for the pack if they decide to visit." I said filled with happiness as the boys' faces lit up in excitement.

"So who's exactly there?" Quil questioned.

"Sam, Emily, Leah, Paul, Jared, basically everyone involved with the pack that wanted to come and party." I said smiling. "The house is big enough it has 8 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms. A large Kitchen, Living room, a study, a spare room I had converted into a music room, a huge back yard, surrounded by forests, a big hot tub and pool in the backyard-"

"Pool? Hot tub? Let's go!" Jake said bounding off the stage and into the dressing room to grab the bags and stuff to leave.

Laughing at the boys as they ran off, I looked back at the crowd. Some already was leaving to go to the party and others staying to have some more drinks. I scanned the crowd hoping to not still see them.

I was disappointed; I still saw 7 pairs of golden eyes watching me intently. I sighed and shook my head to myself and walked off stage.

The boys were practically jumping in excitement all ready to leave and had everything packed outside ready to go. I chuckled at their impatience. I grabbed my helmet and key which Seth handed me already sitting on the back of my bike. The others were in the car and already pulling out, knowing that even with a head start I would beat them.

Just then I heard a door behind me slam. I knew it was them by the smell of vampires and the lack of heartbeats. I heard them quicken their pace but was slow enough to still remain the charade of being human. I quickly straddled my bike not caring if my dress rose up any higher.

"Bella wait we need to talk," Edward said.

"Please wait," Alice cried.

"Why should I, "I whispered trying to keep the pain that I felt out of my voice. With that said I took off on my bike and headed to the party to have fun for once in my life. Fun I deserved.

Pulling up the long drive I was greeted by my extended family, the pack. They were all excited about us winning and were already a little tipsy since the party was already going. I hugged everyone and thanked them for helping with the house. I walked inside the foyer and went into the living room and was stunned.

Without all of the drunken humans in it, it was a beautiful room. It was a perfect contrast of dark and warm colors. It made you feel at home and reminded you slightly of the woods. I glanced around the other rooms in the house. Each of the boys had their own room and I saw a few of the guest rooms. Each was a little different but was perfect for who would be staying in them.

The room for the band to practice in, on the second floor with the other bedrooms, was filled with all the necessary supplies to practice, play, and create more music. I had a feeling that the band and I would be spending a lot of time in here.

I went to the third and top floor. Up here was my study and my bedroom and bathroom. My room was painted a midnight blue and with the large bay windows and window seat on the west wall It had a slight glow from the moon. It was beautiful. I had a large four poster mahogany bed, with a lighter shade of blue for the comforter set. My closet was large and was filled with all of the clothes and shoes I needed for my performances. Plus it had some more modest and regular clothes for when I was just relaxing or hunting.

I walked into the bathroom which was a light shade of lavender. It had a claw foot tub and a large shower with the jets on all sides or it. The counter space was huge and was filled with relaxing scented candles and with some of the makeup and hair supplies that I already sent over. Emily had obviously taken care of my rooms and I was glad she did, they were perfect. I walked down the hall and into the room on the other side of the top floor. This was my study. It had a large oak desk and had my laptop set up. That's not what got my attention though.

The walls of the study were lined with shelves. Each shelf had a large assortment of books. Some I knew were ones I had from when I was human. Others older and I could tell were from others. Yet some were new and I bet Emily also had a hand in setting up this room. I noticed a long black couch off to the side that looked comfortable and I bet I would be spending time in here or in the window seat in my room reading. I also noticed a stereo system that was identical to the one I had in my room. I guess allowing me the comfort I found in reading and music anywhere I felt like being. I smiled at how perfect they made the house.

I went back into my closet and grabbed a dark blue bikini and small shorts to put on over it. I decided to also put on a long white halter top. I left my hair down in waves and decided on just touching up my eyeliner and putting on a light coat of pink lip gloss.

I then headed back downstairs to join the party. Downstairs the party had escalated and I heard music filling the air allowing the rest to have fun. The kitchen held plenty of food and drinks for those who wanted any. I noticed that most people were outside though.

I headed outside to join my friends. Only being stopped twice by some guys. I excused myself and slipped away towards the pool where I saw most of the pack was.

"Where are Paul and Jared?" I asked Jacob the closest pack member I saw.

"I don't know they have got to be somewhere around here? I mean who would want to miss a party like this?" Jacob said back jumping into the pool.

I laughed at those around us who didn't see him jump and got splashed. I had neatly dodged it in attempts to keep my white shirt dry. I went over to one of the lounge chairs and took off my shorts and folded them up placing it there along with a towel. I went to take my shirt off and planned on swimming too.

"Hey B," Paul said smiling deviously.

"Hey Paul," I said backing up a step trying to figure out what he was planning.

That was my first mistake, see Jared took the opportunity to get behind me when Paul grabbed my attention.

Jared grabbed my arms and Paul reached down and grabbed my legs. Swinging me they decided to throw me in the pool. I screamed when they threw me into the water. I came up glaring at them.

Everyone was staring at me, humans, werewolves, and vampires alike. WAIT, vampires? Sure enough the Cullens were here in my house. At the after party. They were close by so they must have run towards me when they heard me scream at Paul and Jared. I decided to ignore their presence here, and turned my anger and focus back on the two who threw me in.

"Oh Paul, Jared," I said with a plastered on fake smile. I sounded sweet and innocent but venom was lacing my words. For a moment they looked scared and I smirked. They had no idea who they were messing with.

I climbed out of the pool. My white halter being soaked through and looking more like a dress than anything. It was completely see through now, and I was relieved when I decided to go put on a bathing suit.

I pulled of the tope and threw it over by my shorts and towel. Not once taking my eyes of Paul and Jared. I heard heartbeats rise, and several intakes of breath from all around me at me standing there dripping wet in only my bikini. It left nothing to the imagination and I know I looked good in it.

"Listen we were only joking around," Paul said backing up with Jared.

"Oh I know you guys were, Just remember I don't sleep and you can't be on guard forever," Smirking I went and grabbed my towel to dry off with. When I was satisfied with how dry I was and my hair only being slightly wet I put on my small pair of jean shorts I had folded up over by my chair.

I went onto the deck and whistled loudly, successfully getting everyone inside the house outside and all attention on me.

"Okay, so I thought since the band and I all are here and so many of our friends and fans are here, I thought that if you guys wanted we would have a little mini concert out here for you guys." I said loud enough so everyone could hear. Everyone cheered and hollered in approval. Everyone quickly cleared the deck and was now either in the pool or grabbed lawn chairs and was in the yard ready.

The band and I quickly got everything we needed set up and ready to go. I already discussed with them what songs we should play and they all agreed. Knowing full well that the Cullens were here. Like I got used to their smell, the wolves had gotten use to me and said I didn't smell nearly as bad as any other vampires. They had realized before I had that they were here.

"Ok everyone this first song means a lot to me and is actually one of the very first I had written. I hope you enjoy." I said

I walked back a few steps and signaled to the boys to start playing. Walking back up to the microphone once the music started I began to sing.

"**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out**

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though  
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me"

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down for the next part.

"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'  
What could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
(Much to say)  
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'  
What could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh  
Oh yeah"

I looked over at the Cullen's and wished I hadn't. I knew this song hurt them as much as it hurt me. I didn't know whether to feel glad about that or not though.

**"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
(To say)  
And watchin' you walk away**

And never knowin'  
What could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you  
That's what I was trying to do, ooo"

I ended the song looking at the ground fighting back tears that I promised myself I wouldn't shed. Taking a shaky and uneven breath to calm myself I looked back up at the clapping crowd.

"Now this next song is similar to the first in a way. It was one of my earlier songs and as always I hope you enjoy." I was staring hard at the edge of the trees lining the property. I picked a point to focus on and began to sing. Instantly the boys caught on and played with me.

"**Looking at your picture from when we first met  
You gave me a smile that I could never forget  
And nothing I could do**

**could protect me from you that night**

Wrapped around your finger,

**always on my mind  
The days would blend **

**'cause we stayed up all night  
Yeah, you and I were everything,**

**everything to me**

I just want you to know

**that I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through **

**and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe **

**that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say **

**I would do it all again  
Just want you to know"**

My eyes I knew were glistening with my tears of venom. The Cullen's must have been able to see this with their sight. I could just imagine Carlisle burning with the desire to ask questions.

"All the doors are closing

**I'm tryin' to move ahead  
And deep inside **

**I wish it's me instead  
My dreams are empty from the day,**

**the day you slipped away**

I just want you to know

**that I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through **

**and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe **

**that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say **

**I would do it all again  
Just want you to know**

That since I lost you,

**I lost myself  
No I can't fake it, **

**there's no one else"**

I broke my vow awhile back and started to silently cry. My voice never wavering, and still strong as I sang. I decided to just screw it and I stared right at Edward. Silently wondering if he gets the message of the song.

"I just want you to know  
That I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through

**and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe **

**that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say **

**I would do it all again  
Just want you to know**

That I've been fighting to let you go  
Some days I make it through

**and then there's nights that never end  
I wish that I could believe **

**that there's a day you'll come back to me  
But still I have to say **

**I would do it all again  
Just want you to know"**

"Well ladies and gentlemen we have come full circle now. I've song a song about just breaking up, one shortly after a break up when you would've still probably gotten back together. Whats next?" I asked with a slight teasing in my voice. "Oh yea," I said laughing not waiting for the answer," The part where you tell the person to go fuck themselves and jump off a bridge." I smirked at the expressions of seven people in the back and brushed it off.

"Enjoy," I whispered.

This was one of my favorite songs. I loved playing guitar to it and I asked Jacob with my eyes if I could play it. He nodded his head and put his guitar down, handing me mine from off to the side. This of course brought quite a few cheers from some of the crowd in front of me.

Stroking my guitar lovingly once I began to sing and play.

"**here's the thing **

**we started off friends  
It was cool but it was all pretend  
yeah yeah **

**since you've been gone  
you're dedicated **

**you took the time  
it wasn't long till I called u mine  
yeah yeah **

**since you've been gone**

and all you'd ever hear me say  
is how I pictured me with you  
that's all you'd ever hear me say

but since you've been gone  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so movin' on  
yeah yeah  
thanks to you  
now I get  
I get what I want  
since you've been gone"

Tossing my hair over my shoulder and playing the guitar. This slight break in the song giving me a chance to compose myself.

"how can I put it

**you put me on  
I even fell for that stupid love song  
yeah yeah **

**since you've been gone**

how come I never hear you say  
I just want to be with you.  
Guess you never felt that way

but since you've been gone  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so movin on yeah yeah

**thanks to you**

**now I get  
I get what I want  
since you've been gone**

you had your chance

**you blew it  
out of sight **

**out of mind  
shut your mouth  
I just can't take it  
again and again **

**and again and again**

since you've been gone  
since you've been gone

I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so movin' on yeah yeah  
thanks to you

**thanks to you  
now I get  
I get what I want  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so movin' on yeah yeah  
thanks to you  
thanks to you  
now I get  
I get  
you should know  
you should know  
got to get  
I get what I want**

since you've been gone  
since you've been gone  
since you've been gone"

The cheers from the small drunken crowd were staggering and uplifting, making me almost instantly feel better. I mean sure some of the cheers could have been for my clothes, or lack –there-of. Still the song was good and I was happy just to share it.

"Thank you guys for coming we had fun meeting with you all but I'm sorry to say this little party is going to be ending now. I promise you guys will all hear about the next performance which will probably include a good party afterwards. We are Children of the Moon, have a great night." I said before turning on my heel and walking inside.

Running upstairs as soon as I was out of sight. I went to my bathroom to wash off today's performances and the emotional roller coaster I've put myself through today. I took advantage of my vampire speed and in no time I was done showering and out. I wrapped my hair up in a pony tail and put on a pair of grey yoga pants and a pink t shirt. I know I don't sleep anymore but that doesn't mean I don't like to relax at this time of night and be comfortable.

I heard a commotion downstairs and casually walked down in no hurry. I mean it was probably another fight about what to watch on TV or about someone cheating in a game. I normally got to break up the fights, not before smacking them around some, especially if they broke anything.

"Hey guys come on do you really need to cause all of this noise I mean really-"I trailed off noticing what was happening.

The Cullen family was standing in my living room, which was put back to normal once the guests left, (couches pushed back, breakables put up, etc.), on the other side was all 10 members of the La Push pack. The humans left were all imprints and I noticed they were pushed behind their significant others.

I noticed the wolves were all trembling. All of them being protective of me even though I was still a vampire and not nearly as breakable as the "old Bella" was.

"Will all humans and imprints please follow me upstairs," I said calmly walking towards the pack slowly. With a few growls from the wolves they complied and the humans followed me up the stairs. I sent them into some rooms and asked politely for them to stay while I took care of the kids. With a roll of my eyes I headed back downstairs with my family.

Standing with the pack they calmed down more and were not noticeably trembling.

"First off everyone out," I said pointing to the door. Before the protest could begin I said, "This is a new house and I rather not have you all destroy it so soon."

They all must have figured out that I wasn't joking or messing around they all filed out to the front yard which was now empty of cars except the Cullen's. Ours had already been moved into the garage with the packs.

"I think we all need to just sit down and have a talk," Carlisle said, always the good leader.

"See that's where I disagree with you," I said stepping up with Sam on my right and Jacob on my left. The rest of the pack growled in agreement and continued to try and control their trembling. "Enough has been said to last me my whole existence, you guys leave without saying a word and then barge back into my life like nothing happened. Who gives you the right to do that? Not only that but you upset my family and friends."

"What family all I see is a pack of mutts," Rosalie seethed.

With that said they all changed and now we were in the presence of 10 large wolves, that and a very pissed off me. I crouched and hissed at her along with the growling of the pack.

"Bella please just listen to what we have to say," Alice begged.

"No," I said looking away from them. I started walking off when I heard the velvety voice I never thought I would hear again. It stopped me in my tracks.

"Bella…please just wait," He said I could hear the pain in his voice. He started to follow me; I stopped and turned around to stare at him. My face blank off all emotion for what I would say to him.

"Edward, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke the words with as little emotion as possible.

"You…don't…want me?" He asked his face heartbroken.

"No." I said coldly a dead look in my eyes.

"Well that changes things." He mumbled.

"Of course I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the tonight made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Edward. I am not human any longer. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I said with no emotion.

"Don't. Don't do this." Edward said as pain and numbness began to take over.

"You're not good for me Edward."

"If…that's what you want." Edward said me feeling number inside than I have in a long time.

I nodded and all fell silent.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, is that's not too much." I said staring at him.

"Anything." He vowed.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I ordered as He nodded helplessly.

"I'm thinking of you family, of course. They need you. Take care of yourself for them." I explained.

"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I vowed.

"Don't worry. You will forget all about me one day when you meet another tasty smelling human." I said sarcasm in my voice for that last part.

"And your memories?" He asked.

"Well I won't forget. But our kind, we're very easily distracted." With that I turned away and walked through the pack and ran off into the woods. I needed to be alone. Saying exactly what He said to me the day he left opened old wounds and it was painful.

Alice's POV:

Bella left. She got up and_ left. _The words she was saying were painful and I felt sorry for him. As soon as she was out of our sight and the pack left Edward collapsed. He curled in a ball and did everything but cry.

He was rocking back and forth and it was breaking Esme's heart by the look on her face.

"Shhh, shhhh, sweetie it's ok calm down." Esme kept saying to Edward.

"No I deserved that. I deserved everything she said. How could I have done that to her? What if she felt as much as I am now?" Edward was muttering to himself.

"What do you mean?" I asked staring at him seriously.

"I said those exact words to her when I left. I told her that and I left her there in the woods. How could I have done that? How she have believed that I didn't love her, didn't want her? She's all I have ever wanted and all I will ever want." He kept saying over and over.

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"When we left you said that to her?" I screamed grabbing him.

A second later Jasper had grabbed me and was pulling me away from killing my so called brother.

"YOU deserved that then. If you could've been that mean and heartless to her then, then you sure as hell don't deserve her now!" I screamed at him both out loud and mentally.

The ride home in the cars was filled with tension and silence. I continued to mentally berate Edward and he flinched with every insult and remark I threw at him.

When we got home I ran inside and slammed my door. I heard Edward sulk past my room and into his. Never once stopping my continuous mental rant at Edward in my head.

_This was going to be a long night for him,_ I thought with a smirk.

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**(A/N:**

Uh oh Alice is a little angry with how things happened. Beware of the angry little pixie.

Is Bella alright?

What will happen next?

Who knows? Well I mean I do but that doesn't count.

I would love to hear your theories.

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Ok so here is chapter three of Children of the Moon for you guys. I figured it was a good time to post since Eclipse came out. I will be updating my other story hopefully this weekend so check it out. My goal for **this story** is to have close to 20 reviews by next update. If I get more I'll make sure to do some alternating point of views depending on who you guys say you want to hear from.

Who will it be?

Edward? Bella? Jacob? Alice? Or maybe someone else?

Let me know! I love to hear from you guys! REVIEW_ REVIEW_ **REVIEW!**

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**Songs featured in this Chapter:**

What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts

Just Want you to Know by Backstreet Boys

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

*I don't own any of the songs used I just put them in my story the rights belong to the artists solely.*

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Oh and here is a little about my other story:

**Facing My Fears: **What if at the end of eclipse Bella didn't tell Edward to stop. What if instead she finds out she's pregnant and she runs. Plenty of twists and turns to keep you on interested and reading. My first fanfic.

Chapters: 15

Words: 40,619

Reviews: 119

_Check it out it's a great story and I think you guys will like it._


	4. Chapter 4: Anger and Pain

**(A/N: **heyyy everyone! I will now be trying to update every Friday for this story and Wednesday for my other story. Unless I say otherwise there should be a chapter at some point on those days. Well I'm excited for this chapter there will be some more angry pixie and some hurt Bella. What will happen? Read and find out. Almost 3,000 words in this chapter enjoy

~MissRisa

**

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**

**Disclaimer:**

Me: I don't wanna!

SM: Say it.

Me: But they all know I'm not you!

SM: Say it.

Me: I own…

SM: (angry glare)

Me: nothing… well this particular story but none of the songs or characters…yet haha

**

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**Chapter 4: **Anger and Pain

_*Previously*_

_(Alice's POV: _

_"WHAT?" I screeched._

_"When we left you said that to her?" I screamed grabbing him._

_A second later Jasper had grabbed me and was pulling me away from killing my so called brother._

_"YOU deserved that then. If you could've been that mean and heartless to her then, then you sure as hell don't deserve her now!" I screamed at him both out loud and mentally._

_The ride home in the cars was filled with tension and silence. I continued to mentally berate Edward and he flinched with every insult and remark I threw at him._

_When we got home I ran inside and slammed my door. I heard Edward sulk past my room and into his. Never once stopping my continuous mental rant at Edward in my head._

This was going to be a long night for him_,__ I thought with a smirk_.

**Alice's POV:**

Fact one about vampires, we don't sleep.

Fact one about Edward, he reads minds.

Fact one about an angry pixie (also known as me), BEWARE.

I almost felt bad for Edward. _Almost _being the key word there. I mean he just sat there and listened to me yell at him for hours. I started to have a vision.

_I was running through the trees. I was in a deep part of the forest I didn't really know what I was doing or where I was going. I just knew I had to get there. It was important for me too._

"What was your vision about?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing," I said changing my mind when I saw his face,"I mean I don't really know I don't understand it at all."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked

"No I'm okay I think I'm going to go downstairs and maybe do some therapy." I said kissing his forehead and jumping off our bed.

"Does this therapy involve shopping?" Jasper asked smiling

"No," I lied.

"Darlin' there is no use trying to lie to the empathy," He said chuckling, "just try not to spend too much this time, and don't freak out the store and buy out everything they have."

"I'll try not to," I said skipping out the door. "But I am not making any promises," I said laughing when I hear him laughing at me.

This is how I tried to cope. I would shop. Rose had her cars and Emmett followed Rose and had his video games. Jasper his books and video games. Esme had her garden. Carlisle his work. Edward, well he just sat there. I tried to shop, I mean I didn't like going to the stores as much anymore I mainly just stuck to shopping online. It wasn't the same after we left Bella. For awhile I didn't shop. At all. That's a big thing for me.

I skipped into the living room and turned on the computer. I quickly went to a few of my favorite online stores. I immediately immersed myself in the vast amount of styles and fabrics of the clothes on the screen. I was going through and picking and choosing all sorts of clothes.

Hours seemed to pass and my family was all doing their own thing. All trying to figure out what happened. How to fix things. What to do. I hated not knowing what would happen. The stupid mutts seemed to block my visions.

I was on auto pilot my mind able to think of so many things at once but still shopping with a few clicks of the mouse. I looked back over my list of clothes I was ready to purchase and I was confused.

None of the clothes were in my size. Let alone I would wear. They were nice don't get me wrong, but not really my style. They were definitely something that Bel-

My mind went blank to block all thoughts from Edward. I was here shopping to take my mind off things, and unconsciously I was buying clothes for Bella. My thoughts started to drift back towards Bella.

_No!_ I yelled in my head, going back to my list of profanities at Edward in as many languages as I could.

"I think I'm going to go hunting," I said to the house," alone." I added when I hear others trying to join me.

I ran upstairs to change in some black skinny jeans and a tunic top. Something cute and fashionable but able to run and 'hunt' in. I ran down the stair and out the door at vampire speed.

I knew what my vision was about. I was going to go and search for Bella. I needed my best friend back. I will do whatever it takes to get her back.

**Bella's POV:**

_*Previously*_

_"Bella…please just wait," He said I could hear the pain in his voice. He started to follow me; I stopped and turned around to stare at him. My face blank off all emotion for what I would say to him._

_"Edward, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke the words with as little emotion as possible._

_"You…don't…want me?" He asked his face heartbroken._

_"No." I said coldly a dead look in my eyes._

_"Well that changes things." He mumbled._

_"Of course I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the tonight made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Edward. I am not human any longer. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I said with no emotion._

_"Don't. Don't do this." Edward said as pain and numbness began to take over._

_"You're not good for me Edward."_

_"If…that's what you want." Edward said me feeling number inside than I have in a long time._

_I nodded and all fell silent._

_"I would like to ask one favor, though, is that's not too much." I said staring at him._

_"Anything." He vowed._

_"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I ordered as He nodded helplessly._

_"I'm thinking of you family, of course. They need you. Take care of yourself for them." I explained._

_"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I vowed._

_"Don't worry. You will forget all about me one day when you meet another tasty smelling human." I said sarcasm in my voice for that last part._

_"And your memories?" He asked._

_"Well I won't forget. But our kind, we're very easily distracted." With that I turned away and walked through the pack and ran off into the woods. I needed to be alone. Saying exactly what He said to me the day he left opened old wounds and it was painful._

_*now*_

I ran into the woods and watched from a distance away. I wasn't sure how the wolves were going to react. Some of the Cullens looked as if they were dying to come after me. Edward just stood there. If vampires could go into shock he was definitely in shock then.

They took a few steps in the direction I ran but the wolves growling and snarling seemed to make them stop any and all attempts. After a little bit longer they retrieved Edward and headed back to their cars. Leaving in what I am assuming is the way back to their house.

I snuck back inside and into my room. I scaled the wall outside my bedroom window and broke in.

I laughed at myself silently. I was breaking into my own house. I needed time to think and that means away from everyone. My walls I worked so hard on building crumbled away completely when I confronted them. I wasn't the weak little _human_ Bella they left behind. I was Marie now, singer and vampire.

I grabbed my guitar and a change of clothes. I slipped on a pair of grey skinny jeans and a red tank top grabbing the neck of my guitar I jumped the three story drop from my window. Of course as a vampire this was simple for me. Well I mean I could've fallen or tripped but that's why I also grabbed a pair of my black converses. I didn't want to see how well I did with that jump and in heels.

I ran and ran not knowing where I was going or how far I went. I slowed to stop when I came to a part in the forest where the trees were farther apart and formed what seemed like a small circle. I saw a tree that had been knocked down. I went over and sat there.

I started to realize I had feelings for Edward. I can't…I shouldn't…but I do. Grabbing the guitar I rested it on my lap. I started to randomly pluck some chords and let the music fill the air around me. I loved my acoustic guitar. It was simple and sleek and it calmed me down so much. I started to play and the notes would have made a great song. As I thought about the music I was playing the words popped into my head and I knew I just had to sing them. Maybe it will help me understand what was going on. Not to mention figure out the war waging between my head and my heart.

"You know it ain't easy  
For these thoughts here to leave me  
There's no words to describe it  
In French or in English  
Well, diamonds they fade  
And flowers they bloom  
And I'm telling you  
These feelings won't go away  
They've been knockin' me sideways  
They've been knockin' me out lately  
Whenever you come around me  
These feelings won't go away  
They've been knockin' me sideways  
I keep thinking in a moment that  
Time will take them away  
But these feelings won't go away, they won't go away "

Not so much help there. Maybe another song. I started plucking some more strings to a faster song. I tapped my foot to get the underlying beat that it needed. I took a deep breath and started to sing again. Letting my feelings out and letting me gain control again.

"When I was young, lying in the grass  
I felt so safe in a warming bath  
Of sunlight  
Of sunlight

Fast open sky could do no harm  
Like an embrace of a mothers arms  
In sunlight , in sunlight, in sunlight, in sunlight

With every year that came to pass  
More clouds appear until the sky went black  
And now there's  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight.  
And now there's  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight anymore.

You disappeared with the same speed  
The idealistic things I believed  
The optimist died inside of me  
No sunlight, no sunlight, no sunlight, no sunlight

You disappeared with the same speed  
The idealistic thing I believed  
The optimist died inside of me  
No sunlight

No sunlight,  
No sunlight.  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight,

No sunlight anymore."

My voice trailed off as the last notes of the song echoed around me. I heard a twig break behind me and I whirled around searching for the person. Or should I say vampire. The forest was quiet around me. Too quiet, obviously a vampire was out here with me. I was so distracted I didn't hear or smell the vampire as it approached.

"Who's there?" I asked to the night air around me.

"Can we talk?" the voice asked.

**Esme's POV: **

My poor daughter, poor Bella. Everything she's been through and being turned into a vampire! I wasn't there to help her. I'm a horrible mother.

Oh my poor Edward. His heart is broken by what Bella said and then her just leaving. Think about what she went through though. Oh I don't know what to do. Both my children are hurting and I can't do anything!

Carlisle went to his office as soon as we got home. He is trying to figure out what went wrong. He is hurting as much as I am. Neither of us being able to help our children but wanting to help nonetheless.

I was out in the garden planting and tending to my flowers. I had flowers planted in honor of all my family.

For Carlisle, my love, I had planted Amaryllis in honor of his achievements and his dedication to his job and taking care of others.

For Alice, my daughter, I planted Dahlia which is known for their meaning of a wild side and a unique personality. This fits Alice so well. She is unique and caring just like this flower.

For Jasper, Gladiola for his strength and caring of his family. His integrity and how he strives to improve his control with blood. He is so strong and I am proud of him.

For Emmett, my son, I planted Daffodil. Daffodils symbolize truth and loyalty. Showing his loyalty to his family over all other things.

For Rosalie I planted orchids. They symbolize love, beauty and strength. All of which Rosalie has and even when she doesn't show how much she cares we know she is fiercely loyal and protective of her family.

For Edward, my son, I planted Camellia symbolizing a longing of the heart. Showing his heart ache and longing for Bella even before he met her. Never truly fitting in with the family until he met his other half, and then leaving her to protect her. It broke him to leave and he is truly stronger then any of us to have done that.

For Bella my daughter that I lost. I planted Freesia. To remind us of what she smelled like, and to symbolize her innocence and the sweet caring heart that she had. How she cared for those that she loved above caring for herself.

Tending to the freesia in the garden, I vowed to myself. I would get my daughter back. I wouldn't let this family hurt anymore but mistakes. Wishing that I could cry I picked some freesia and brought it inside. I planned on putting it in a vase and putting it in the living room.

Now that we had Bella back in our lives I wanted to make sure that she never left our hearts or our minds, not that she ever did since we left. She would forever be a part of our family.

I just hoped she realized that, and forgives us.

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****(A/N:**

I know isn't Esme so sweet! I love writing in Esme's POV she cares so much for her family.

Yes don't kill me I left it as a sort of cliffhanger in Bella's POV

At least you guys know who it is.

Unless I change it. Who knows?

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I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I should be updating by next Friday. If I get my goal of reviews though I might update sooner. So my goal of reviews is to get 30 reviews. So that means I need at least twelve of you to review. But I really want **ALL **of you readers out there to **REVIEW! **So if I can get over 30 reviews by Friday then I will update before Friday.

That gives you guys a week to start reviewing. See you next time.

Lots of Love,

MissRisa

Any questions, comments, or suggestions you can leave in a review and I will respond or you can PM me.

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****Songs Featured in this Chapter:**

Sideways by Citizen Cope

No Sunlight by Death Cab For Cutie

*I don't own the songs I just used them people.*

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**Whose POV should the next chapter be in? Bella/Alice? Or Bella and maybe some other character we haven't heard from yet? Let me know I take your suggestions seriously guys and I want your opinions.**

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Oh and here is a little about my other story:

**Facing My Fears: **What if at the end of eclipse Bella didn't tell Edward to stop. What if instead she finds out she's pregnant and she runs. Plenty of twists and turns to keep you on interested and reading. My first fanfic.

Chapters: 15

Words: 40,619

Reviews: 119

_Check it out it's a great story and I think you guys will like it._


	5. Chapter 5: Heart to Heart

**A/N: IM SOOOO sorry please forgive my writers block. Well real life gets in the way and I know I shouldn't have left you guys for so long. I came back earlier this week and I couldn't write though. I couldn't remember what I wanted to happen next I wrote it down and couldn't find it. So all week I've been working on my other story. Luckily I found the inspiration to at least get chapter 5 up. I'm not sure if this is as good as I originally wanted it, since my notes are still missing…hopefully my dog didn't eat it…she tends to eat my stuff.**

**-MissRisa**

**(Chapter is just over 5,500 words enjoy)**

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****Disclaimer:**

My dog ate my disclaimer.

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**Chapter 5: Heart to Heart**

_*Previously (Bella's POVand part of the song from last chapter…No sunlight by death cab for cutie)*_

_You disappeared with the same speed  
The idealistic thing I believed  
The optimist died inside of me  
No sunlight_

_No sunlight,  
No sunlight.  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight,  
No sunlight,_

_No sunlight anymore."_

_My voice trailed off as the last notes of the song echoed around me. I heard a twig break behind me and I whirled around searching for the person. Or should I say vampire. The forest was quiet around me. Too quiet, obviously a vampire was out here with me. I was so distracted I didn't hear or smell the vampire as it approached._

_"Who's there?" I asked to the night air around me._

_"Can we talk?" the voice asked._

**Bella's POV:**

"Can we talk?" a voice like bells asked.

I sighed to myself. Knowing I was going to have to face them I just wasn't expecting her to find me so fast.

"Sure, Alice." I whispered.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed collapsing in front of me.

"Alice listen-"

"No Bella," She cut me off," This is my fault too I shouldn't have let him make us leave. I told him it wasn't a good idea I have bugged him for the past 2 years to go back, to fix things. The family was falling apart. Bella you were the one keeping us together. When Edward told us we had to leave Emmett and I argued with him for hours. After awhile Edward threatened Emmett and got him to stop. Not me though. I fought so hard for you Bella. In the end Carlisle said that it was only fair we honored Edwards's wishes, we had made Edward move in the past and it was his choice to leave now. Carlisle didn't think it would be long anyways, he believed it was a temporary thing."

It was heartbreaking seeing Alice so upset. She was broken like I was. She didn't want to leave me. Could that mean…

"Edward told me to not look in your future. He said not to look in it the day we left too. Bella I swear to you that none of us knew what he said to you that day." Alice pleaded with me begging me to understand.

All I could do at this time was nod my head. So many thoughts were running through my head and I wasn't able to think straight let alone talk.

"Then afterwards I couldn't get any visions of you. I took to calling our old friends and getting information from them. None of them knew it was me. I am very good at impersonating people and they never knew. Still though I should've come back to check myself the first time I couldn't get a vision of you. Then maybe things wouldn't be like this." Alice sobbed.

"Alice listen I don't know if things would have been different. They might have been. Maybe Laurent still would've gotten to me and changed me. I can't think about the 'what ifs'anymore," I said trying to get her to calm down.

"Laurent? He did this?" Alice growled.

Uh oh. Didn't mean for that to slip. I can't take that back now…Alice doesn't look to happy. _C'mon Bella think of something quick, _I mentally berated myself.

"Yea, Alice, Listen there is so much we need to talk about what happened after you guys left me. I listened to you. Can I get the same thing and you listen to my story?" I asked her.

"Yes, Bella I will listen to what you say and I promise to not interrupt…too much" Alice said smiling for the first time since we started talking. I patted the seat on the log next to me and she eagerly sat down. I took a deep breath and began to tell my story.

"After you guys left I was devastated. Edward told me everything that was part of my worst fears and left me there. We were in the woods not far from my house. Stupid me though I tried to go after him. I ran the way I thought he went and screamed his name begging him to come back. I tripped and fell and I couldn't find the will to get back up. I fell asleep there in the middle of the woods lost. I woke up and I was back in my house. I was surrounded by people I didn't know, and doctors, I saw Charlie standing in the corner with the most worried look."

"The doctor said I was catatonic. I didn't eat, or talk for days. I was afraid to sleep. When I slept I would dream of that night and wake up screaming. I saw how much this was hurting Charlie and I tried to change. Not before he called Renee and tried to get me to go live with her. I wouldn't leave though I was determined to stay in forks. After that I tried to act normal. I went to school, work, and came home. I was living my life, but I wasn't _alive_. I was like a zombie just going through the motions."

"My life went like this for months. I started sleeping less and less afraid of what would happen in my dreams. I did all that I could to stay awake as long as possible. Charlie threatened me after 4 months went by and nothing changed. He said I needed to get out and live my life not be like that. I went to Jacob's house. I found out that when I did things dangerous I could see Edward, he would tell me to be safe and not do it. I was able to remember Edward and not feel the pain that I always felt when I thought about you guys. After that turning point I did all that I could to have these adrenaline rushes. I started riding motorcycles, hung out with the werewolves – once I found out about them, I even tried cliff diving."

"CLIFF DIVING!" Alice said

"It was for recreational purposes Alice. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was to the point where if I died I didn't care, but it wasn't like I was looking to kill myself. See all of these things worked for awhile but slowly the rush that made me see Edward started to fade. I had gone weeks without hearing his voice and it was killing me. Jake had patrol to do with the guys and couldn't come help me. SO I decided to look for the meadow. I thought that if I could find it then maybe I could remember Edward again there. It took me hours to finally get there. When I did though, it didn't work. The meadow was a symbol of what we had and I realized that without Edward there that it meant nothing. I sat in that meadow and cried and cried. I'm not sure how long I cried but it felt like hours. That's when _he _came."

I stopped there for a second. Talking about the past was starting to reopen old wounds and I was feeling the pain I tried so hard to not feel. Alice grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze to push me on.

"Laurent said he came back as a favor to Victoria." Alice growled at the mention of her name but stayed quiet," He said he was supposed to see If I was still here, said that Victoria had plans for me. She wanted revenge on me. I told him that you guys left and didn't care about me. Too bad Laurent found me while he was hunting. He promised it wouldn't hurt and that I wouldn't feel a thing. He came so close to killing me. He only stopped when the wolves came and chased him off. The wolves hadn't killed a real vampire yet. They knew how, but they weren't expecting the speed Laurent had. They sent two after him thinking that was enough. The others stayed trying to help me, it was too late though. I told them that the venom was already in me, that I was going to be there for three days burning and changing into a vampire."

"I was friends with the pack. They wouldn't kill me they said unless I was a threat. I'm glad human blood holds no appeal to me, because I lived with Charlie only a week after my change. I told him I went out of town for a few days. He didn't like that, but he accepted it he knew something was different but he never voiced it."

"Sometime during my change my feeling about you guys changed. I thought all about what happened since I came to forks the whole time while I burned. My feelings of pain and abandonment transformed into something else entirely, it changed into anger and hatred. I'm not saying that I don't still feel the pain, it's just I learned from my past and I don't know if I could live through that again. As a vampire my feelings were supposed to be stronger and more intense. I can say that I felt the same amount of pain that I do now as when I was numb and a 'zombie' and human. Nothing has changed much. I'm just a little more durable now." I said chuckling at the end.

"So did the wolves kill Laurent?" Alice asked.

"No, they only sent two wolves after him the other three that were in the pack at the time. They tried to get him and they were close, but he was able to get away. I am guessing Victoria didn't like that because since then she has sent a couple newborns trying to get to me and kill me. I am a vampire now though, and with so many wolves in the pack now, it's easy to kill the newborns. Haven't seen her or Laurent in awhile now, though we have tried to look for them they keep escaping before we get close." I explained.

"So they're still out there?" She asked.

"For now," I said.

"Bella I am so sorry about all that you went through. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone. When I heard you that day singing on the radio I knew it was our chance to fix things. I convinced the family to come and I was so glad to find you. Have I told you yet that you are an amazing singer?" Alice said smiling.

"Thanks Alice, I could sing okay as a human, it just wasn't something I did being so shy. I had written a few of the songs we perform before I was changed; I just altered them a bit once we started the band and turned them into songs. It's kind of cool being the only girl in the band though it can be a little annoying at times. My friend Leah, the only female pack member, comes on tour with us from time to time to help me sing vocals. She hasn't been able to come lately because she has been busy with school though." I said. I thought of an idea once I said this. I looked at Alice and she was getting a vision just as I thought of it.

Alice jumped up and squealed happily. "Oh Bella that's a great idea! Of course I will sing back up with you! That is if you want me too." She said.

"Ok Alice, I don't know if I forgive you completely. I don't trust you all as much as I used to. I know you tried to convince them to stay. I will try to forgive you though. You guys all just made promises and you broke them all. I'm willing to try and work on things with you though, that is if you give me time and you want to try." I said slowly.

"Of course Bella, I have always thought of you as my best friend and sister. I will do whatever it takes for you to trust me again. I'm so glad you are giving me a second chance. Does this mean you're going to give the others a chance too?"

"I'm not sure Alice. I don't want to move things too fast and ruin everything. Let's take baby steps and see how it works with you first. Then we can discuss forgiving the others and giving them a chance." I explained.

"Yea Bella you have no idea how much this means to me! When is the next performance I need to go shopping?" Alice said jumping up and down.

"It's tonight actually at 9…" I said sheepishly.

"Bella that's only in 8 hours!" Alice screamed, "How am I supposed to get a totally cute outfit in only 8 hours."

"Listen my sense of style and fashion has improve I'm sure I can find something in my closet for you to wear." I said trying to get her to calm down. "Why don't you go home and tell the rest what you are doing tonight and get what you need. Then only you can come over to my house to get ready. You can come with me to go to the show."

"Thank you Bella!" Alice said hugging me and running off.

Alice had run home and grabbed what she needed, she returned to my house with plenty of time to spare. We spent the next few hours catching up and getting ready for tonight's show.

Alice found a dark purple strapless top and a pair of grey skinny jeans. Pairing it with a smoky eye look and some simple black heels her look was complete. Spiking her hair a little gave her that edgy look but still had style.

I ended up wearing a dark blue halter top, the back of it being very low. I paired it with a small pair of black shorts, I had a pair of those lacy looking tights on and had on some cute above the ankle boots. To complete the look I used some shimmering eye shadow and dark eyeliner, with some red lipstick and a hint of blush. I straightened my hair making it almost reach my waist. Alice loved my new sense of style and gave it the Alice approval.

Grabbing my leather riding jacket we headed downstairs. I had already explained to the rest what happened earlier, and though they were worried, they accepted Alice to the band. Alice and I paired off and we rode my bike to the show. The rest of the band and the pack were coming to the show tonight.

We got there an hour early for sound check. We went back stage into the dressing rooms to make sure we were ready. Alice warned me that the rest of the Cullens were going to be there to watch the show too. I was slightly worried about it but I didn't let it show. The band, Alice and I went over the set list for tonight and when it was just about time for us to go on we made our way to the darkened stage. I took an unnecessary deep breath and began the song. Alice singing back up and the guys playing there instruments. The lights came on slowly starting with a simple light on me and then slowly on to the rest of the band.

"Seems like just yesterday,

you were a part of me

I used to stand so tall,

I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight,

everything it felt so right

Unbreakable,

like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on"

I caught sight of the Cullens and spotted Edward immediately. Him and I locking eyes I continued to sing.

"Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces,

can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything,

opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright,

for once in my life

Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be

So together,

but so broken up inside

Cause I can't breathe,

no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes"

I had to break our eye contact. I was getting lost in his eyes and I couldn't look at the pain that was present in his. I decided to just stare into the crowd, not stopping on one spot for to long. My eyes still kept travelling back to the bronze haired vampire himself.

"Swallow me, then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

Seeing you, it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside anymore

Anymore

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry"

The last line I spoke into the microphone glancing at the Cullens.

"Behind these hazel eyes"

The audience cheered and cheered. I thanked them and introduced ourselves.

"Thanks for coming out tonight everyone! First off before we go into the next song I want to introduce you all to my friend and new backup singer, Alice!" I gestured to her and she came up next to me and took a small bow, and grabbing my hand. She stood next to me and we began the next song.

"Now, don't just walk away  
Pretending every thing's okay  
And you don't care about me

And I know it's just no use  
When all your lies become your truths  
And I don't care, yeah yeah yeah

Could you look me in the eye?  
And tell me that you're happy now, oh ooh oh,  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased  
Are you happy now? Are you happy now?"

I was looking at Edward, wanting desperately to know the answer. Just a glimpse inside of his head to see what he was thinking.

"You took all there was to take  
And left me with an empty place  
And you don't care about it, yeah  
And I am giving up this game  
And leaving you with all the blame  
'Cause I don't care, yeah yeah yeah

Could you look me in the eye?  
And tell me that you're happy now  
Would you tell it to my face

or have I been erased  
Are you happy now? Oh ooh oh,

Are you happy now?  
Are you happy now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

do you really have everything you want  
You could never give something you ain't got  
You can't run away from yourself, yeah, yeah"

looking down at the stage, I began the last part of the song.

"Could you look me in the eye?  
And tell me that your happy now, yeah, yeah  
Come on tell it to my face

or have I been replaced  
Are you happy now?  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh whoa  
Yeah, yeah, ooh whoa

Would you look me in the eye?  
Could you look me in the eye?  
I've had all that I can take  
And I'm not about to break  
'Cause I'm happy now  
Are you happy now?"

I didn't look back at them, the Cullens, no matter how much I was tempted to. I walked to the side of the stage where my guitar was sitting for me. I grabbed it and put the strap on around my neck. Walking back to the center of the stage, I waited for the applause to die down a little.

"(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
So much for my happy ending  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
So much for my happy ending  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh)

Lets talk this over  
It's not like we're dead"

I smirked at this line and the Cullens smiled.

"Was it something I did?  
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging  
In a city so dead  
Held up so high  
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew  
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything  
That I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be  
But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me  
Just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending"

Their smiles disappeared.

"(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
So much for my happy ending  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

You've got your dumb friends  
I know what they say  
They tell you I'm difficult  
But so are they

But they don't know me  
Do they even know you?  
All the things you hide from me  
All the stuff that you do?

You were all the things I thought I knew  
And I thought we could be"

I pointed straight out at Edward and said the next part.

"You were everything, everything  
That I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be  
But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me  
Just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there  
Thanks for acting like you cared  
And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all  
Thanks for watching as I fall  
And letting me know we were done"

I turned my eyesight from Edward and look at the crowd, still point out at him.

"He was everything, everything  
That I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be  
But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me  
Just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending"

I put my hand down and looked in their direction.

"You were everything, everything  
That I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be  
But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me  
Just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
So much for my happy ending  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
So much for my happy ending  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)"

For the first time I saw that the pack wasn't that far from the Cullens. They were tense and on edge. I guess they knew how this was affecting me and weren't too happy.

This was the part of the show where I sing the last song of the night. It was a piano piece and I sung it alone. The rest of the band left the stage, taking their instruments with them. They returned a second later pushing a black grand piano. Once it was in the center of the stage they waved to the crowed and walked off. I adjusted the microphone so it reached me while I was playing. The audience could only see my profile but I could still see the pack and Cullens clearly. I would have to keep an eye on them to make sure nothing happened.

The lights went dark and a single spotlight came up on me. I started to play the piano and began to sing.

"No I can't take one more step

towards you  
Cause all that's waiting is regret  
And don't you know I'm not your

ghost anymore  
You lost the love

I loved the most

I learned to live

half alive  
And now you want me

one more time

And who do you think you are  
Running around leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are"

I looked at the Cullens and regretted it. I almost broke down from my feelings. I have kept them buried down for so long that I wasn't prepared for them rushing back all at once. Closing my eyes I forced myself to continue singing.

"I hear you're asking all around  
If I am anywhere to be found  
But I have grown too strong  
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live

half alive  
And now you want me

one more time

And who do you think you are  
Running around leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are"

I started to cry, well the vampire version of cry. I took a shuddering deep breath. I opened my eyes and they instantly sought out Edwards golden ones.

"And it took so long

just to feel alright  
Remember how to put

back the light in my eyes  
I wish I would have missed

the first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke

all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back"

I closed my eyes tightly so he wouldn't see how much this was hurting me.

"And who do you think you are  
Running around leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
Don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are  
Running around leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
Don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all"

At this part I was barely keeping it together. _Why was he still affecting me this much? _I stopped playing, my head was bowed down to the piano and I grabbed the microphone.

"Who do you think you are  
who do you think you are"

Insert deep shuddering breath here.

"Who do you think you are…."

I hit the last note of the song, and held it. The sound echoing loud around me, the audience was silent. The light blacked out and I stood up shakily from the bench.

I felt a pair of small hands, and pair of large warm hands grab me and steady me.

"Thank you Alice thanks Jake." I whispered quietly.

The crowd recovered now and was cheering and clapping like crazy. I recognized some of the cheering and whistles from the wolves and I heard even a few howls from them. The band, Alice and I were standing in a group at the front of the stage me in the middle being held by Alice and Jake.

I laughed slightly at the pack members howling. I felt something running down my face. I reached my hands up and brought them down. They were covered in this liquid. It was slightly gold colored. I looked at Alice; she gasped and touched my face.

"Bella, you're- you're crying!" Alice whispered.

I looked at eh Cullens and a few of them gasped.

Vampires weren't supposed to be able to cry and here I was crying.

Not just regular tears though.

I was crying my venom.

**

* * *

****(A/N: sorry about disappearing. I will try to stick to my update days. I will try to update by next week or next weekend after I update for my other story. You guys should go check it out, just go to my profile and click on it, Facing My Fears.**

**I'm looking for at least 5 more reviews before next update, so a total of 30 reviews. Please click that button. I'm sorry again for disappearing but I made this chapter long for you guys.**

**Songs featured in this chapter:**

Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

Are You Happy Now by Michelle Branch

Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter tell me what you all thought of it. Any song suggestions for future chapters are welcomed. **

**~MissRisa**


	6. Chapter 6: Confessions of a Teenage Vamp

**(A/N: I've come to the conclusion I am part magician because that is my only explanation for how thoroughly I disappeared. I am a million times sorry and I have written the next few chapters as an "I'm sorry gift". **

**Of course there's a catch…I mean it's me ;) you have to review and I'll post the next chapter that is already written. SO enjoy my loves! And I will continue my A/N at the bottom,**

**Love. MissRisa**

_Disclaimer:_

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_I am so sorry I disappeared on you!_

_*SM owns all recognizable characters! Though the plot is mine, hmmm think she might want to trade?*_

**Chapter 6: Confessions of a Teenage Vampire**

_*PREVIOUSLY*_

_I hit the last note of the song, and held it. The sound echoing loud around me, the audience was silent. The light blacked out and I stood up shakily from the bench._

_I felt a pair of small hands, and pair of large warm hands grab me and steady me._

_"Thank you Alice thanks Jake." I whispered quietly._

_The crowd recovered now and was cheering and clapping like crazy. I recognized some of the cheering and whistles from the wolves and I heard even a few howls from them. The band, Alice and I were standing in a group at the front of the stage me in the middle being held by Alice and Jake._

_I laughed slightly at the pack members howling. I felt something running down my face. I reached my hands up and brought them down. They were covered in this liquid. It was slightly gold colored. I looked at Alice; she gasped and touched my face._

_"Bella, you're- you're crying!" Alice whispered._

_I looked at the Cullens and a few of them gasped._

_Vampires weren't supposed to be able to cry and here I was crying._

_Not just regular tears though._

_I was crying my venom._

**Bella's POV:**

Of course I already knew I could do this. I found out shortly after I was changed that some of my human traits had carried over. Even if I looked forward to never having to talk to them again, the Cullens were dying to have an answer. (No pun intended)

I mean I have been hurt enough by Edward's actions. Why should I have to put myself through more pain? I sighed at my internal monologue. I knew I deserved to answer their questions.

Even if being in a certain vampire's presence makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable.

I would just bring some big fuzzy wolves to comfort me. I smiled just a tiny bit. I couldn't picture having a serious conversation with the wolves around, while in the presence of other vampires. Well not one where they weren't trying to kill each other.

I was brought back to reality as I was ushered into our dressing room. I was pushed not-so-gently by a warm set of hands and shaken slightly by a colder pair.

I blinked away my venom, and stared up at the people who brought me out of my thoughts. **(A/n: remember she cries her venom, all will be explained though later on.)**

"Bella? _Bella?" _Alice said, with her rising panic tinting the edge of her words.

I looked up at her and I was happy to have my best friend back. I mean I love the pack and all, but they don't understand everything I go through. Not just as a girl, but as a vampire and a broken hearted one at that.

"Alice calm down I'm okay. Don't worry about me," I said trading places and comforting her instead. "Maybe you should sit down Alice"

"BELLA! You're crying!" she said throwing her hands up exasperated. "You're a vampire. Vampires don't cry. They can't, and here you are crying!"

I chuckled slightly at her antics and stood up. I crossed the room and started washing my face. I didn't want to leave with venom all over my face.

I finished cleaning up and Jacob's eyes met mine, concern etched into his face. I gave him a small smile letting him know I was fine. Jake was a good friend. I knew at times he wanted more, but things were so complicated in my life and he understood enough to just leave us as friends. Though at times I knew we were more than that.

Alice was vibrating in her spot just bursting trying to hold back her questions. I giggled at her and turned around to face her.

"Alice," I said warily, "you know I need to wait to explain till everyone else is here. I mean it would be just a pain to explain the same thing more than once."

"But-"

"No buts Alice we have to wait I hate telling the same thing more than once." I said firmly," Besides I realized that completely ignoring them is wrong and that they deserve some explanation and their questions answered."

"Fine." She sighed pouting slightly.

I walked behind the dressing room screen so I could change out of my outfit from the show and into something else. Normally I kept a bunch of different outfits back stage so during the show or after I could change if I wanted to. I looked through the bags I had and for some reason I couldn't find any of my stuff.

"Alice!" I growled.

My clothes had been all replaced. Every pair of sweatpants and yoga pants was gone. All of them replaced with dresses, skirts, and short shorts.

"Yes?" she trilled.

"Where have you taken all of my clothes?"

"I replaced them. As your stylist there is no way I could allow you to walk on stage looking like a hobo."

"I look very nice thank you!" I said my voice rising "and when did you become my stylist?"

"When I was in your closet and I found your stash of sweatpants" She said.

"So what am I supposed to where then Alice!" I said growling at the clothes in front of me.

Walking over she picked up a blood red tank top (probably designer), and paired it with a black short shorts.

"Alice why do I need to wear clothes like this, and heels when I'm just going to be with you and the rest of them? It's not like I'm going to a party or anything." I sighed, putting the clothes on anyway, knowing better then to argue with Alice.

Coming out from getting changed, I stood in front of Alice glaring.

Jake was in the corner and I could tell he was fighting from laughing at the two of us. I turned my glare to him and huffed, "I don't see you laughing when she replaces your wardrobe."

Effectively silencing Jake I left the room.

I wasn't sure If I was ready to face the Cullens and their questions, but hell…I would look good doing it.

I went back to my house and waited there. Alice was going to ride with the Cullens over and pack was going out to have fun.

Me…well I was going to have what would probably be an awkward and painful night of rehashing my past and old wounds. Fun.

It was just after 11 and I knew the pack would be gone till at least 2am and that meant that I would have to deal with the Cullens by myself until then. I could last that long. If not… I'm sure I could find a way to escape before things got to painful.

I heard 2 cars going at a speed that only vampires would drive, approaching the house. Taking a few cleansing breaths I headed to the front door, straightening up as I passed as I headed towards the door.

I opened the door to the family that left me, as I heard the crunch of gravel, not knowing what would happen I would just have to let fate lead me.

In a blink the Cullens were out of the cars and standing in a loose group in front of the porch. They seemed hesitant as what to do, and I was to nervous to say anything. Alice broke the tension by walking forward from the group and smiling at me as she walked in to the house.

With an eye roll I turned to follow her and I heard one of the Cullens sigh in relief behind me. I guess I wasn't the only nervous one here.

I was scooped up from behind by Emmett and he gave me a signature bear hug that only he can get right. I closed my eyes and tried to stop my heart from hurting. I had missed everyone so much and my façade of indifference was slowly slipping.

Emmett placed me back on the floor and ruffled my hair. "Missed you sis" he said.

I smiled slightly at that and headed into the living room. I took refuge in one of the chairs, and everyone else fanned out among the couches, all sitting facing me so they could see me.

"So where should I begin?" I said skipping all the small talk. Might as well get into the stuff they really wanted to know.

Carlisle unnecessarily cleared his throat before saying," I guess from the beginning Bella."

I quietly sighed. Of course I would have to rehash all of the unwanted memories in from of the very family that caused me my pain.

"Well, I guess you could say I was a little catatonic after you guys left."

"Bella you need to tell them the whole truth don't lie," Alice said staring at me.

"It isn't a lie, I _was _catatonic after…the woods." I said "After that…my memories are faded. I can't really tell you about what happened in the first few months after you guys left Forks." _Left me I silently added._

Edward growled quietly and I threw my shield out and over Alice. She looked a little confused at first felling the slight difference in the air. But Edward needed to hear all of this from me. Not from Alice's thoughts from what I had already told her.

"It wasn't until Charlie threatened to send me away to Renee's that I realized that I wasn't living anymore. I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was if you had asked me. I was living day to day just barely making it through.

"One day I just woke up I guess and I realized that I was hurting Charlie and things needed to change. SO I drove down to La Push and hung with Jacob and his fronds. They weren't wolves at the time, just normal teenage boys. It was refreshing being around them for just a few moments I forget everything. And I could really _breathe_.

"Before you knew it I was there every day, and if I didn't go…it was bad. I found that doing certain _activities_ made it possible for me to see Edward, even if it was only him angry at me for doing stupid, crazy things. I guess you could say I became a sort of adrenaline junkie. I was to the point I would do anything to hear his voice again."

"Bella," Edward said concerned.

"What kind of things exactly did you do?" Carlisle asked.

"It's not really important," I said trying to wave it off.

"Bella…"Alice said looking seriously at me, "Tell them."

I looked down at the floor, the walls, anything but them. "You know just motorcycles, walking down alleys alone, some emergency room visits, cliff diving, hiking."

Silence and staring. The Cullens were silent. A rare thing to see among them and they were silenced by me.

"So anyway," I said, "Back to the story"

"After Jake joined the pack, he knew staying my friend was dangerous. He could lose his temper at any moment and he didn't want me to get hurt. So he avoided me. I was falling apart and I didn't know what to do. I went hiking. I was looking for the meadow and it took me most of the day. I was relieved to have finally found it, I hadn't had a hallucination in weeks and I was so glad to have finally found it. I should've known it wasn't going to be the same though. I was standing in the meadow just barely holding myself together before I realized he was there."

"Who Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Laurent." I whispered

Several growls emanated from around the room. I ignored them and wrapped my arms around my torso.

"I knew I should've tried to have run, that I should have been afraid. But honestly all I felt was satisfaction. I was starting to believe none of you all were real, and there before me was Laurent, a vampire. And I was just glad that I had finally found proof.

"I didn't realize right away that his eyes were the wrong color, red instead of gold.

"I tried listening to the most realistic hallucination of Edward I had yet. I couldn't lie well enough though. My hallucination looked more and more real as the danger I was in became clearer. It talked me through on how to get out alive. 'Edward' told me to threaten him, when it failed he begged me to beg for my life…it didn't work though.

"Laurent said he was doing me a favor. Laurent said that what Victoria had in store for me was much worse.

"He had just bitten my when the wolves came. The pack chased him off and killed him. They were too late to do anything to help me though. The venom was spreading and all they could do was watch. Jacob was my friend still though and he wouldn't let the pack kill me.

"I woke up 3 days later in the woods surrounded by giant wolves. I did what came natural to me, I ran. The pack followed me until they could corner me. They closed in meaning to talk to me but I was afraid. Something snapped in me though ad I was cornered, and it felt right, I felt safe. The wolves continued their approach and they all of a sudden stopped. The kept trying to walk forward but it was like there was this invisible wall there that kept them from getting close to me.

"It took them hours for them to get me to put down the shield. During which they told me they would sometimes be able to see the shield, and other times I would be invisible too.

"So what is your power then exactly Bella?" Jasper asked curiously.

"I'm a shield, both physical and mental. I can block anything that can affect the mind, like reading thoughts. And I can put up a physical shield, which can make me invisible if I want it to, and prevent attacks." I stated.

"Have you tested your limits?" Carlisle asked.

"Well I can cover quite a few people with both shields. And I've even practiced a couple times taking the shield off of me but I can't really test it out sense I don't have anyone to try a mental attack on me with." I explained

"What about the crying Bella?" Alice busted finally asking the question she's been dying to know.

"Well it seems I have brought over some of my human traits," I said shifting in my seat.

"Like what?" Esme asked politely.

"Well I can cry, its venom since I don't produce tears anymore but I can cry. I can enter this dream like state where I'm not really asleep, but its close. "

As the Cullens mulled over that new information I got up to turn the electric fireplace on. The pack would be home soon and I didn't want the house to be too cold. Of course I should've known better and stayed where I was. As I was walking back from the fireplace, I tripped. It was a small trip, more like a stumble. I mean it's not like I was going to fall, just a slight lack of balance for a second to disorient me.

Edward was by me though holding my arm and steadying me. I looked up into his golden eyes and was thankful that I couldn't blush. Even as a vampire he still rescued me, albeit from the floor… but still. I looked away and mumbled thanks before I flashed over to the safety of my chair.

"Oh…My... GOD! Bella you're- you're- _clumsy_." Emmett laughed.

I crossed my arms defiantly. "I am not! I just like to reacquaint myself with my old friend, the floor from time to time. It doesn't happen often and normally it is just a little stumble. It's not like I fall down a flight of stairs, or trip on nothing like the old Bella."

Emmett continued to laugh boisterously at me. I alternated between pouting and glaring at him until he stopped when Rose and Alice smacked him on the head, earning a giggle from me at his protests.

The pack's cars were approaching I could hear them in the distance. The Cullens did too cause they stood up and headed for the door.

I went up to the door with them to see them out. We said our good byes and Esme even came and hugged me, which of course made me hug her back.

Edward stopped and opened his mouth to say something. My shield was down from Alice so her thoughts must have made him think otherwise.

They all got in their cars and pulled out of the driveway.

I hadn't even noticed that my arms were back around me, trying to hold myself together. I just kept telling myself that they weren't leaving me this time.

They _wouldn't _leave me this time.

Even if they tried…I would follow them, I was stronger now, and now that I was just starting to think I might have my family back, I wasn't ready to let them go.

**(A/N: So here is my lovely chapter of over 3000 words after my horrible writers block and busy schedule. I already have the next chapter written and once I get 10 reviews I will post.**

**Tell me what you think and any request and suggestions for songs! Either in a review or PM. AND REMEMBER IF I DISAPPEAR YOU CAN PM/REVIEW ME TO COME BACK IT JUST MEANS I'VE LOST INSPIRATION TO WRITE.**

**Check out my other story I'm working on another chapter for that too. It's called Facing My Fears and it's pretty good.**

**p.s. Who saw Breaking Dawn? Loved it?**

**So press that button below.**

**Love, MissRisa (:**


	7. Authors Note HELP!

So I realize I disappeared for...well awhile.

I can't make excuses. High school got so busy for me and well...now its over. College life though is a lot less busy for me so I wanted to know if I continued writing if anyone would actually read this?

I realized during my hiatus that I was still getting reviews (though I never got the alerts since it went to an old email address).

It kind of shocked me to see that people were still reading my stories.

So what do you guys think? Should I keep going? Review or PM me and let me know please I'm really conflicted about if I should. I still have all my old chapter notes and the ideas about where I wanted each of my stories to go it's just life got in the way for awhile.

xxx

_~MissRisa_


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